Because I am too much sensitive, I am so lost in this fucking world, without him.
When he died, he left me in the darkness that only my own death could chase away.
I am alone and I am cold.
No-one and nothing can help me, because I do not really want to be saved.
I only want to see him again, and I am waiting this day as long as I can.
If people see me like a nice angel, they do not see that I am an angel with broken wings who only wants to fly to be in heaven and escape from this dirty world.
I dream my life instead of living, so I can have wings sometimes.
But these wings are not real, and finally when I fall, I am hurting people, I am hurting myself, and I am probably hurting him too.
I hate myself.
A fucking life makes a bad girl. So heaven is not for me, and never will be.
I'll never escape from the hell that he built for me... even if someone tries to love me, and even if I die...